Wednesday, January 18, 2012

In the beginning...

I started praying for a house.  I thought I was praying for a coffee house.  Instead I was praying for a house with 8 people, 3 coffee makers, and an espresso machine.

I felt like God wanted me to pray for a house.  He didn’t give me any details other than “pray for a house.”  So I began praying, thinking that perhaps God was going to open up a way for me to work in or start up a Christian coffee house which was a dream I had been passionate about in the past.  One day I mentioned to my boss that I had started praying for a house which he found to be interesting.  I work for FIU-MDC Wesley (a Christian organization for college students).  He went on to share his thoughts about developing a Christian community house as part of our campus ministry.
A few months later, after more prayer and discussion, I started looking at real estate near the FIU MMC campus.  It wasn’t easy.  Some houses were too far from campus, too small, kinda shady, kinda fancy and out of our budget etc.  Right before I left Miami to go home to be with my family during the summer I found “the house.”  God had waited to the last minute but He pulled through.  Multiple bedroom, close to campus, reasonable rent…perfect.

I ventured the 17 hour drive to my homeland with a month of relaxation in sight before coming back to move into my new place.  Amidst my month of running through the woods and hollers of my farm I received a phone call saying the lease had fallen through which meant no house for Wesley.  That in turn meant no job for me since I was returning to Miami to be the House Director.
God let everything crash and burn.  All the houses I had looked at were for nothing.  I had opted not to interview for other opportunities because I was returning to Miami for another year with Wesley.  I had even received words of encouragement about the plan for the house from people I trust to be honest before God and people.  When I finally thought I had found God’s will and was in God’s plan I had gotten it all wrong.  To say the least I was upset.

I questioned whether I even knew God’s voice anymore.  In my mind I had already fought the fight against doubt and fear.  I had struggled with the question of returning to the city when I viewed myself as a girl with a heart for the open land of the country.  I had thrown in my hand because I thought God gave me the signal.  Had I read His signal all wrong?  I believed that I knew Him.  Either I didn’t understand Him or He let me lose on purpose.
While my mind was replaying the rug being pulled out from under me, other more hopeful conversations were happening 17 hours south.  To cut to the chase, within less than 2 weeks we had another house which was bigger and better than the first.  We also had 3 commitments on people who wanted to live there with more soon to follow.  I’m not saying all stories are meant to have a crash and burn with a drastic turn around.  But, we can cling to this: Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.  In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves.” (Psalm 127: 1-2)

Now I am living in this experiment in Christian community.  I have been here for a little over 5 months.  I battled for the house against an army of ants – no joke.  I have laughed till it hurts.  There have been times when I cried myself to sleep.  I’ve been pushed to love more.  My tendencies to be OCD about organization and neatness have been tested.  So far I have seen 3 coffee pots live here, become perhaps a bit too fond of Cuban espresso, and shared family dinner with people from across the US/world.  The story continues…
Julie

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